I was in a car accident with my youngest son yesterday.  The roads were bad.  We were on the freeway.  I was coming around a bend and I felt the car sliding.  I turned the wheel to try and straighten out the car.  I lost control.  360 and we hit the median wall.  The car stopped.  I looked back to make sure he was okay.  He started crying.  I got out of the car and opened his door to check on him.  I was scared out of my mind.  I just wanted him to be okay..... 

The car was my father-in-laws.  I'm horrified.  We were going to buy it from him, yes, but we hadn't yet.  Everything was still in his name. 

I declined an ambulance when I called 911.  I didn't know.  We eventually ended up in ER - I wanted to make sure my son was okay.  I needed to make sure I was okay.  Everytime I step into an ER, especially this one, it floods me with memories of that October in 2007.  Everyone was calm, until they brought me up to the desk to finish checking in and I told them what happened.  The rate of speed, the nurse looked at me and her eyes got big.  She said something to someone who came over, looked on the screen and proceeded to make a call.  I heard trauma on the loud speaker.  A neck brace was being pulled out.  She said I needed to lie down.  I started to cry.  They said that my son would be with his dad but I needed to be seen by the trauma team. 

Let's back up a few hours....I was at the doctor's getting confirmation that I was indeed pregnant.  I told my husband only a couple hours before the accident....he was blown out of the world with that news...and now we're in ER..

I got wheeled into a room full of people.  Questions about the accident, questions about what hurts.  Nothing hurts, I'm sore.  My tolerance for pain is pretty high.  I have some slight cramping.  Ultrasound machine.  Checking the heart window - no blood.  Checking the kidneys and spleen - no blood.  Checking the uterus - bladder is full.  LOL  There is a sac - still very small.  I should be okay.

I relive it in my mind.  The side that got damage was the passenger side - only God could've kept us that safe from harm.  A wake up call?  Maybe.  But definitely he and I were surrounded by angels.  Psalm 20:1 (NIV) - May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.  No other car was involved.  When it started, I knew it wasn't my time to go yet, I could only wait for the car to stop.  Having my baby boy with me...I am grateful for the protection I have. 

“The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.  I have to get beyond this.  But I am scared.  The circumstances have been set up and played out.  The provisions are here.  There is nothing to fear.  Belief in the miracle, the action.  Having faith.

I am sore.  I feel every twinge right now.  But the point is I can feel.