When little ones are sick, it's hard to get much done. They just want to be held. And so here I am, on the couch, holding a little body. The breathing is hard, the nose is dripping and the cough sounds weary. The eyes are tired and teary. And when you ask questions, there comes this little whisper answer. The eyes are closing, the breathing is slowing down...he's falling asleep. Poor baby. :(
This morning, the oldest saw my scar from the mediport. Because it's cold, it's rare that he sees the scar. He runs his hand over it and asks, "Did they cut you open?" "Yes, that was where I had my button for the medicine." "So you wouldn't die." I got quiet. I looked in his eyes and said "I'm better now." Little ones are very wise. They know a lot more than we give them credit for. I wonder at times what he remembers and how much that affects him now.
They will be six and three respectively come March. It amazes me how time has continued to move on. The accomplishments they each have continue to grow. Being a parent is an on-going learning process. I don't think there will ever be a time where I could say I was a great parent because everyday poses a new challenge. I do think I try a lot and some days are definitely better than others.
Times like these past couple of weeks when they have been sick remind me of several things:
- patience is a virtue
- there is a fine line between nudging and pushing that gets much finer when they are sick
- words are not necessary to convey feeling
- insight isn't bound by age
- I truly love being a mom
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