Today is my grandfather's death anniversary.  Twenty-four years since he's been gone.  I still miss him tremendously.  I know he watches over me and the family. 

Do you believe in angels?  I know I have one, at least one, looking over me.  I don't know who it is, but I just know.  People come and go in my life.  I don't consider it coincidence, I consider it a matter of timing.  Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys. --Emma Bull.  People have seasons in my life.  Some come back every so often, and some don't.  Each day that passes, I come into that realization much more.  My brother texted me yesterday while I was driving.  He sent a picture and asked what I was doing. I text back that I'm laughing.  His reply, "Nice.  Wanted to make you laugh.  Guess it worked."  Now how did he know I needed to laugh?  I can only assume that his guardian angel and mine's were talking.  :)

You know that chatter in your head?  The ones where you are going over lists, to-dos, etc.?  I have a lot of that in mine.  It makes it hard for me to actually hear much of anything else.  So then I react to the frustration of trying to hear and hearing the chatter.  For example, my kids when they are talking and playing and I'm trying to get them to listen and they're not and so my decibels get louder and louder, trying to drown out all the noise.  Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.  I miss so much.  All this time that I continue to wonder about what I'm supposed to be doing and stuff, I wonder at times, if the answer has always been there but I think too much about it.  In fact, honestly, I think that's exactly what happens.  The little subtle moments are just that, subtle.  Again, me, the one that needs the vivid 12 megapixel color shots needs lots of help.  The accident?  Wake up call, has to be.  The only thing I can attribute it to for someone who needs more than just subtle cues.  Make sense?

If I had more time to ponder the possibilities, I would.  But my life requires that I be in the moment and my moments don't really have a pause button.  I realize I blog to share my side of the story, but don't you ever want to engage in some of the stories too?  I open the door for that...