I admit it...I don't live in the moment.  I don't engage 100% with whatever I'm doing because in my head, I engage in the other 20 things that I have to, accomplish, be, have, etc.  Even now, as I type this, I am distracted. I wanted to be blogger at one point, to have a site that people came to and laughed, cried, reminisced and found wisdom for something that they were going through themselves...but I don't put enough effort or attention to it.  The pictures I never seem to upload, the thoughts that fly away because I don't regularly sit here in this space to write.

I have a problem with that.  It means I miss out on some truly great moments.  Because I will always have to back up and try to rethink things to figure out what I did miss.  The accident?  Yeah, probably distraction.  The door of my car not being closed and having someone go in the car and steal the Coach umbrella (there was nothing else in the car to steal beyond that) and not noticing that the car door was ajar the whole day??  Really??  How can someone not notice that considering how many times I passed it in the driveway?  Yes, see and feel the frustration level right now?

My kids...please forgive me for not ever being in that moment with you in the way I should be.  So much I want to do, but I don't, because I say I can't...(((sigh)))...

Maybe this is my self-pity blog.  I'm just tired.  Again the signs point me in directions...this happens to be the thing at the moment that I need to realize about myself.  What do I do?  How do I make that change of being only a part-time momenter, to a full-time momenter?